The training of a professional musician involves developing a range of musical skills and knowledge. For some time now, various countries have been adding to the usual curriculum of contemporary music schools other subjects we might call extra-musical, such as body work specifically for musicians, education in healthy habits to prevent pain and injury, body expression, drama, etc.
Musical activity is a truly demanding task, since it requires us to face situations full of problems and setbacks (recordings, concerts, clinics, auditions, etc.) that demand tremendous inner strength and great self-knowledge, without which it would be very difficult to achieve our own identity and full musical fulfillment.
Even though we greatly enjoy what we do, we need professional recognition from others to reinforce our values, which is why we always seek approval from the community of musicians. That recognition is very hard to obtain. We need to be very clear about the difference between what we really are and what we think we are or want to be. From this split, which we are all more or less aware of, comes self-esteem, which we can define as the evaluative perception we have of ourselves, of our way of being, of the set of physical, mental and spiritual traits that make up our own personality. It is the assessment each person makes of themselves, and it can be either positive or negative.
I would venture to say that the level of self-esteem is responsible for many successes and failures, not only in music but in every area of our lives. High self-esteem, linked to a positive self-concept, will boost a person's ability to develop their skills to the fullest and will also increase their level of personal confidence. On the other hand, low self-esteem will steer a person toward defeat and failure. Self-esteem is important because it is the way we perceive and value ourselves: it shapes our lives. The more positive our self-esteem, the better prepared we will be to face adversity, the more chances we will have of being creative in our work, the more opportunities we will find to form enriching relationships, and the more inclined we will be to treat others with respect. What really matters is achieving balance between our reality and our ideal, that is, between what I am and what I would like to be. The dream of our life, our project of human and professional growth, is a journey we must make in stages. And it is very important to be realistic, to be able to discern clearly what the goals are for each stage, setting ourselves exactly what we can achieve at each moment and no more. The ideal we aspire to cannot be reached in a single decision, however momentous it may be. No one can stop thinking about themselves and constantly evaluating themselves. We all develop positive or negative, high or low self-esteem. But it is advisable to develop it as realistically as possible, so that it allows us to discover what we can really be and do at each moment. Underestimating or, conversely, overestimating ourselves will make us easy prey to insecurity or complacency, leaving us unable to take on new and risky projects.
Low self-esteem
Common attitudes or stances that indicate low self-esteem:
- Rigid, excessive self-criticism that keeps us in a constant state of dissatisfaction.
- Hypersensitivity to criticism. Sometimes we feel exaggeratedly attacked, hurt by our colleagues' comments. We blame others or the situation for our failures. We nurse persistent resentment toward our critics.
- Chronic indecision, not from lack of information but from an exaggerated fear of making mistakes.
- An unnecessary desire to please, which leaves us unable to say NO, for fear of displeasing others or losing their good opinion.
- Perfectionism, an enslaving self-demand that leads to inner collapse when things don't turn out with the required perfection.
- Neurotic guilt. We exaggerate the magnitude of our mistakes, never fully forgiving ourselves.
- The free-floating hostility typical of the hypercritical person whom everything bothers, everything displeases, everything disappoints and nothing satisfies.
Ways to improve self-esteem
Self-esteem can be changed and improved. There are several things we can do to improve it:
- Turn the negative into positive. We must never lose the will to think positively. We should turn around everything that seems wrong or seems to have no solution.
- Don't generalize from negative experiences we may have had. We must accept that we may have made mistakes, but this doesn't mean that in general, and in every aspect of our lives, we are a disaster.
- Focus on the positive. We all have something good we can be proud of; we should appreciate it and keep it in mind when we evaluate ourselves.
- Become aware of our achievements or successes. We should all recognize in ourselves the ability to do things well in certain areas of our lives, and that we must strive to achieve the successes we want in the future.
- Don't compare yourself. We are all different, and we all have positive and negative qualities. Even if we see ourselves as worse than others in some respects, we are probably better in others; so it makes no sense to compare ourselves or feel inferior to other people.
- Trust ourselves. Always act according to what we think and feel, without worrying excessively about others' approval.
- Accept ourselves, with our qualities and flaws. We are important and valuable people.
- Strive to improve. A good way to improve self-esteem is to try to outdo ourselves in those aspects of ourselves we are not satisfied with. To do this, it helps to identify what we would like to change about ourselves or what we would like to achieve. Then we should set goals and strive to make those changes.
Creating personal growth projects
An important part of our self-esteem is determined by the balance between our successes and failures. Achieving what we want and seeing our needs met provide positive emotions and increase self-esteem.
Earlier we pointed out that one way to improve self-esteem is to strive to change the things we don't like about ourselves. The method we are going to use consists of four basic steps:
1.- Set a clear, specific goal.
A goal can be anything you want to do or achieve. Setting a goal clearly and specifically helps you succeed because it helps us identify what we want to achieve. The goal we set must meet a number of requirements. It must be:
- Sincere: something we really want to do or wish to achieve.
- Personal: not imposed by someone from outside.
- Realistic: achievable in a relatively short period of time.
- Divisible: we can determine the steps or things we need to do to achieve it.
- Measurable: we can check what we have achieved and what we still need to accomplish.
Examples: getting a good grade in an audition, making a good recording, being more popular, more recognized, earning more money.
2.- Establish the tasks needed to achieve it.
Once we have specified the goal we want to reach, we must think about what to do to achieve it. Not everything is achieved in a day; to improve, the key is constant, daily work.
3.- Organize the tasks in the order they should be done.
If you try to carry out all the tasks at the same time, you will most likely achieve nothing. To reach a goal, it is very useful to put the tasks in order and establish a work plan. The order of the tasks can be set logically, according to the time sequence in which they must be done. If the tasks don't require a time sequence, you can start with the simplest tasks that require the least effort, leaving the most difficult or demanding ones for last.
4.- Put them into action and evaluate the progress made.
Once the personal project has been drawn up, you need to commit to it and put it into practice.
Example of a personal project
1.- Goal: Overcome performance anxiety.
2.- Tasks to achieve it:
- Detect the symptoms of anxiety, observe them and allow them.
- Get used to playing while nervous and learn to counteract it.
- Let go of the nerves and get into the music.
- Don't avoid performing; on the contrary, seek out opportunities.
3.- Organize the tasks (start with the easy ones and move toward the harder ones):
- Find out what makes us anxious.
- Since we know we're going to play while nervous, we must learn to control it.
- Ignore the nerves and enjoy the music.
- Foster the need to perform live.
Thanks to Marcela Paredes, Ángel Antonio Marcuello and Orlando Fernández Guerra for the knowledge on which I based this article.